Etiquette and being Cyber Cool

I am not technologically savvy.

I don't even have a functioning Ipod. Or Blackberry. And I'm not on Twitter or LinkedIn.

And yet, in spite of my best efforts otherwise, I'm afraid that I have turned into an unbridled, 100% computer nerd. I check my email innumerable times daily- for work, of course but checking my personal email account is like scratching an itch. If I can't reach it, I'm terribly, terribly uncomfortable. It's a burning anxiety. A compulsion. A bad habit.

But everyone is in the same boat. We'd like to think. Everyone wants to connect and be connected with. We place the blame on not knowing our neighbors. On our increasingly closed off and simultaneously globalized society.

We want to share everything with everyone and yet, somehow remain coolly anonymous. Our bizarre phobias, funny quirks and childhood desires are online for everyone to know (and hopefully be intrigued by) and yet when someone crosses the line- and bears too much of the truth- It's a cyber faux pas.

We know when they've gone too far. The online hanging dirty laundry in public. We can't quite handle it. As we reveal more and more of ourselves, there is still a line drawn in the sand. Most of us know where it is.

I was trying to explain this to someone. Saying- yes- tell people about yourself. Share your pictures, share your interests, share your secrets. Tell all. Make it personal. Make it interesting. You're interesting. Everyone's interesting- but no- don't talk about your first period or how dejected you felt after your break up. Quirky but not crazy. Nervous but not neurotic. Deep but not dark. Keep it light, keep it interesting- make um laugh-make um laugh.

Yesterday I read an article that disturbed me- about Facebook 'friends.' The piece that upset me most- and caused me to look myself hard in the mirror and then do some serious deletion- was that

" in the real world, popular people tend to be friends with popular people. But in these technological networks, as in metabolic networks, it's just the opposite. The nodes with many, many links will tend to be linked to nodes with few links."

I have around 550 'friends' on Facebook. All of whom I know. Or have met. They aren't all necessarily my 'friends.' I'd say on this swirling blue planet, in the real, face to face, offline world- I have around 5% of that big fat number. I wonder if the comparatively huge number of my Facebook 'friends' has an inverse relationship with my real life coolness and popularity.

As my partner simply explained- if you have enough time to foster hundreds of online relationships- you're probably neglecting the ones in your everyday, walking, waking life.

Time to log off. I have a coffee date. With a real person. I swear.